+1

Is it alright that I don't really want to see the guy I'm kinda, sorta, seeing. It's ok, I don't think he wants to see me either.
But I do want to see the guy who once saw me but it seems, doesn't really want to anymore. At least not like that.
Life is complicated. Love, doubly so.

I just had a conversation with my roommate revolving around the premise of a Sex and the City episode called "Are we sluts?" She said that she thought something must be mentally wrong with people who have so many partners. Maybe. More likely, I think what has happened is that the spark in us that makes us equate romance with sex gets dimmer and dimmer with each failed partnering and by the time we become rational thinking adults and haven't found that very special life partner, we stop equating sex with love and having multiple partners just stops being a big deal.

For the record (mom), none of this really applies to me. I'm still a sucker.

L'amore: Cat and Jason Get Married

This weekend, my dear friends Jason and Cat were married in Newport, RI. Thus far, I have been to a Persian wedding, a Scottish wedding and now, a Swedish wedding. The difference here being that toasts dominated the reception. There were 18 in all, lasting about 4 hours. It left little time for dancing but that was ok. The speeches were thoughtful and funny and there were even two musical performances, one by Jason's friend Andy whom wrote a special song about their courtship. And I only cried once, during Cat's dad's speech.

There was about an hour and a half of dancing with music provided by Matt, which was so fun. I danced like a mad person to Michael Jackson, Queen, Prince and Cher.

The evening before the wedding, there were drinks at the New York Yacht Club and the day after, a lovely (if shockingly early) brunch back at the reception hall. I almost starting crying as I took Cat's hand to look at her wedding band. You can't imagine a more generous couple (this past March, Jason even used his air miles to fly me down to SXSW after I mentioned that I didn't know how I was going to afford the flight). I'm so happy for them I could burst. And next month, our good friends Bill and Josey get married as well.

The Fest of San Gennaro '09

Most years, my Uncle Rob likes to come up to Little Italy for the Feast of San Gennaro. This year he brought Tara, her boyfriend Vedran and her new girlfriend and her children. It was fun as always and always makes me feel just that more Italian to be there. We had sausage and broccoli rabe on the street and scarfed zeppolis as powdered sugar rained down our shirts.

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Guts to do it

...Everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. ~Sylvia Plath

One of my greatest fears is leaving this earth and not having told the truth of my existence. In part, I blame Orson Scott Card and his magnificent book Speaker for the Dead which I read as a teenager but it also has to do with my passion for history. I used to dream that one day I would help change the world by uncovering long lost truths about our past. It's this part of me that knows that one day I might disappear into the ether or become a footnote in history (if I'm lucky) and if I am able to leave a record of my life, even if I don't discover Atlantis, I would have done my part. I rather people know that I loved and cried and screamed and lived than simply become a person in a photograph for my ancestors to place on a mantel one day.

So last night I wrote this: TMS EXCLUSIVE: SENRYU, LAUGHING IN SLOW-MOTION and today I received an im from the party in question saying that he's sorry if I think he was a bad friend. Life is full of very uncomfortable moments and the written word above all else is most often misinterpreted. Or perhaps I just have an incredible ability to write subtext because without actually knowing it, I wrote exactly how I feel. My heart was broken and without saying it, I did.

After the Jump Fest Bitches!

Come hang out with us all day! Free Brooklyn Lager for the first hour each day!

Not to mention...

A delicious food menu designed by former WD-50 chef, Scott Koshkoodi

Live screenprinting by artist j.morrison from Space is the Place

A GIANT hot pink elephant art installation by Snoozer Loser

Organic and vegan bake sale by Jamie Cakes

Plus other surprises throughout the weekend!

*Added to the line-up is Helado Negro dj, The Octagon, Shark?, Captain Ahab and the Sea Crackens and Thing One

Order your three day pass now, don't miss out on anything! Pre-order for a discounted rate of $25 and one day passes for $10 (http://www.littlefieldnyc.com/upcoming-events/). Door is $30 and $12.

Special Thanks to our supporters:
Brooklyn Brewery ASCAP CMJ'09 Goldest Egg

AFTER THE JUMP IS ORGANIZED BY:
themusicslut . batteringroom . ryspace . irockiroll . merryswankster . softcommunication . musicisart . bumpershine .themodernage . productshopnyc . subinev . punkphoto . poptartssucktoasted . jinners . nyctaper

WITH HELP FROM:
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