Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

The common denominator of most unemployed people’s lives is their dependency on television. Without you knowing it, your day divides into half-hour segments according to the tv schedule. For me it is What Not to Wear at noon followed by The Nanny and Mad About You until two when I usually settle in and watch a film. This week it seems every time I switch on the movie channels, Before Sunset and Before Sunrise are playing. I love Richard Linklater’s films; I think they are beautiful and poetic, so I was thrilled finally to have the chance to see Before Sunset yesterday.

During one scene in the movie, Celine talks about how she doesn’t think that she is cut out for quick romances and one-night stands because even though the encounter is so brief, she can‘t help but miss little things about the person. There was something so true about that for me. It began me thinking about the men I’ve loved, or been with, and what I miss about them. There was S’s eyes, B’s smell, J’s humour, C’s passion and JH’s heart, all of which I can‘t help but compare, just a little, to every man I meet. So it begs the question, is the man I’m searching for just a composite of the men I’ve known and will I ever stop comparing?

On a recent night out, over a glass of white wine, I asked a gay friend of mine if he ever missed breasts. I was curious how something you are taught to like, and do like for so long, can so easily be put away. Until now, finding the right match in the bedroom hasn’t been a factor I have thought about adding to my search (well mostly, but being as I live in New York that single intimate factor isn’t much of a problem, if you know what I mean). Should I not only look for my ideal mate in form and character but also in bed? The evening before, I had been thinking about my last tryst and how my upper half didn’t play as big a role as the lower half and to be honest, I kind of missed it (not that I‘m complaining). Gay friend X confessed that yes, he did sometimes miss some nice tits and it just so happened that the weekend before he was having the same conversation with another group of friends. One of his girlfriends that evening so graciously offered up her own upper half for some squeezing. “That was enough to hold me for the next few years.” he said.

I don’t know if I’m searching for someone with C’s strength, B’s honesty or just some excitement in bed, but I do know there are two things I need: real love from a real man. Unfortunately, New York seems to be out of men. There seems only to be boys left. Tell me, when did it become the common place to not teach boys to act as gentlemen? Instead, I see them coddled by their mothers and ignored by their fathers. The simple act of holding open a door or having just a twinge of bravery then eludes them because of this.

When I was 16, I wrote a summary of why I thought the young Abigail Williams was so drawn to the older John Proctor in The Crucible. “It’s simple” I said, “What girl deep down doesn’t want to be loved and protected by an older man?” I got an A++ on that paper. “How true and how honest!” was the comment my teacher wrote. Whenever a man asks me what it is a woman wants I always tell them the same thing, “For a man to ride in on a white horse.” Watch any good romantic film and you’ll see I’m right. How could so many women love Bridget Jones if that wasn’t true? So the predicament now is: where does a girl find this man? Where do I find this man? Whilst abroad, I found plenty of them. Often was the case where I was guided through crowds with a gentle hand on the small of my back, or hell, even my honour stood up for. Now unfortunately, I currently reside in New York- the island of lost little boys.

So I guess my problem is now this: I have met all of these wonderful men, men who make me hopeful for the future, now where do I find the right one for me? A friend once told me that in the company of a bunch of women he once asked what the ideal occupation would be for man to have in order for a girl to fall in love with them. The consensus they came up with was elementary school teacher. It showed he was sensitive and liked kids. After my friend had told me this my reply was simple, they are lying. No woman wants an elementary school teacher unless they can bench press 250 and volunteer as a fire-fighter as well. “So what do you think the ideal occupation would be?” he asked. “Cowboy.”

So I ask you, where have all the cowboys gone? At the movies seeing Brokeback Mountain and crying I think.

B.O.Y. and a Red Hot Housewarming

This past Saturday, Deb, Jason and I set off for the wilds of Brooklyn to hit up a couple of parties.

First off was the premiere of Band of York at Matt's fly flat in Redhook Cobblehill West. Getting there was no easy task. Not only was it way below freezing, but the F train to BK decided to malfunction making us nearly an hour late. I knew Matt's apartment was 5 blocks west of the subway stop, so we headed in that direction after we finally got to Brooklyn. After a block of walking in the frozen air, however, my posse soon lost faith in me and we hailed a cab. Unfortunately the cabbie didn't know where the hell Tiffany Place was either.

Obviously we finally found it and were rewarded with a nice full keg.

I didn't really know what to expect from the B.O.Y. but they really surprised me. I thought their sound was really fresh. To me it sounded like a combination of Scissor Sisters and the new Robbie Williams album.

This was the first time the band was playing in front of a crowd, so in time I expect them only to get better (and also for poor Billy, the lead singer, not to be sick).

The "catwalk" above the living room where the band was playing. There's Matt up there.

After the B.O.Y. party, it was off to Cobblehill proper for Betty's housewarming. She just moved into a cute basement apartment with Ruddy, a friend from college.

The party had a techno/hipster/Valentine theme.

Betty getting down and with it after Ruddy(pronounced Rudy not Ruddy- yeah I don't know) insisted there be dancing.

I have no idea how I suddenly grew two feet to take this picture, but evidently it happened.

We were trying to get out the door but Betty grabbed Deb for a turn on the dance floor so I took the opportunity to pour myself another measure of whisky. Cheers to the person who brought the 12 year old single malt.

Betty (looking very drunk), Jason and Deb.

In February 2003 Deb and I went to Amsterdam and Bruges with Betty and her crazy (like for real) friend Ranise. Ranise happened to be at the party that night so before we hit the road I insisted we take a reunion picture together.

Revelations: My Biggest Guilty Pleasure

I like Tom Arnold. There, I said it. I think he's funny, especially in True Lies. I love that movie...

Come and get me.

A Word on Project Runway

The show I have been obsessed with for the past few weeks has come to an end (ok, not an end, an intermission apparently until March when Fashion week is over) tonight. Thus, I feel it is my duty to say a few words about the program which has had me glued to my tv every Wednesday night like peanut butter and wonderbread to the roof of your mouth.

First off, I love fashion. LOVE. I think if I could, I would do it all over again and go to fashion school. Actually, all I really want is a semester's worth of classes just so I could make clothes for myself. That being said, my favourite part of Project Runway was seeing the production of the designer's outfits. From picking out the fabric to shaping it on the model. I was fascinated by the process because I was so baffled by it. I just can't get my head around how they pin together the clothing.

I seem to always love the asshole of the group- which explains a few of my friends and all the men I've been attracted to. So it's not surprising that my favorite designer on the show was Santino. I found him really funny and honest, but above all, I loved his style. I thought that not only were his clothes beautiful, but also incredibly artistic.

The other designers in the final four were Kara, Daniel V and Chloe. Daniel and Chloe are very classical designers so their work was never very exciting, though it was very pretty. And Kara, poor Kara. I think she spent the entire show like a scared bunny shivering in the corner. I don't think she put her heart into anything she designed on the show. She always played it safe, designing plain black dresses, just so she wouldn't get kicked off. Well in the end, it was auf wiedersehen Kara. Kara, you shouldn't have been so scared because when it came to fashion week, your collection was my favorite. I would love to own the above dress. It's feminine and punky at the same time.

And the winner of this week's challenge, Daniel V? At fashion week, he just didn't come to play. Everything looked so boring, like I could have run out to Banana Republic and bought it myself. Chloe as well, so typical, such a yawn. Santino though, now he was a surprise. His whole collection was so toned down and elegant. A far cry from the flare addled clothes he presented on PR. There were some dresses that I really loved but what I REALLY would have loved to see would have been some outrageous, funky pieces. I feel almost that the Santino presented on the show was fake. Like it was some big prank he played on PR.

Now all that remains this month is the reunion show next week. Will Nick bitch slap Zulema? Will everyone bitch slap Santino? And will someone finally find ANDRAE?!

See the final four's collection here and have fun watching Project Catwalk you lucky Brits. I might have to download it for some more crack fashion.

Crazy Delicious

The Chronic of Narnia is some of the funniest shit to make it onto the internet since that guy danced to Numa Numa. Numa Numa crossed all boundaries of humour but I am curious, does the Chronic of Narnia? So British friends, do you get it or have no clue what is going on? Because I think that if you are not 20-35 and living in New York, it's only sort of funny.

BLIZZARD '06!

It's official, it's snowing.

Last night Deb, Jason, Lisa and I went into the city to celebrate Laura's birthday. Because of the BLIZZARD we couldn't stay for the karaoke part of the evening but we did enjoy a lovely dinner together. The city was so beautiful in the snow, very romantic.

And today I am snug at home, sitting around in my pjs, contemplating a nap. Hurrah for two feet of snow!



backyard



frontyard



my car



front stoop with me in the glass



garden gnome

Out of the Closet

I would like to bring your attention to the side bar. There you will see, under blogstars, a new addition- the blog of my friend Stephanie. I'm sorry to hear that her fantastic blog was found out but at the same time, am very happy that I can now link her and tell everyone how her blog is brilliant, funny, endearing and insightful. It's not everyday that you can read the musings of a Washington journalist living in a wee town in Scotland. So go read it and make sure to check out the top picture of Steph with my dear friend Steve- they both look terribly foxy.

One Hell of a Weekend

This weekend, Happy and I travelled down to Maryland to stay with our dear Sea and meet up with Shira and Jose for some fun in DC. Shira, Sea, Happy and I are all friends from our London semester abroad and Jose, Sea and I became friends freshman year of college. Besides really wanting to see my friends south of the Mason Dixon line, I was in desperate need of a mini-break from New York.


February 3rd

So Thursday, I picked Happy up from work (after my interview at the Metropolitan Museum, which went well) and we high-tailed it to MD. Sea welcomed us with a hot bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, yum.


Lately, I've been feeling a bit nostalgic for my alma mater so Friday I coerced Happy and Sea to go with me to UMD to walk around and see some of the old haunts. They were having an activities fair in the Union ballroom, so we walked through there trying to find a club to join. Just so happened, they had Hispanic and Asian sororities and a booth set up for my old co-ed, Pre-law, frat, Phi Alpha Delta.




Before leaving the Union, we hit up the store to see if there was anything good. Bingo, ultra spirited, red, clown wigs.


This is the mall in the middle of campus. At the far end there is the administration building and at the top, where I took the picture, is the Library.



In the middle of the mall is the sun-dial. There's Sea telling Happy, "Yeah, I can't tell time with that"


There's the library where I worked fall semester of Junior year. Seriously, worst job ever. I would spend my hours all alone, pushing a cart of books and re-shelving. TORTURE. I used to push that thing all hunched over and sad looking. You weren't even allowed to listen to music, though of course I did. Instead of working, I would pretend that I had re- shelved carts by taking the cart tags, signing them and then putting new tags on the carts. It was genius. I'd then spend the rest of my time sitting in the aisles, reading.

That all might sound like I was a bad worker, but I was actually pretty good. I even went to work the night that the tornado ripped through campus...of course there was an impossibly cute guy who worked there with me and the possibility of a stack rendezvous was enough to get me there no matter what.


During the warmer months, I would sit out here on the ODK fountain with my feet in the water, sunning and reading a book. It was glorious. The fountain is engraved with all the top UMD graduates, including the guy I was in love with for the better part of 5 years.


Above is Tydings, my old Government and Politics building. I spent many hours here nervous that I would be called on to talk about something I hadn't read.


The window on the top floor, second column from the left, used to be mine freshman year. Thank goodness I used to have an absent roommate, because with no air-conditioning in a cinderblock cell during the summer that place would get boiling and I'd have to sleep nearly starkers. The farm outside my window used to have horses and when I couldn't sleep, I would go down there at night to feed them my left-over food from the dining hall. In the spring they would have dozens of little lambs running around, so cute but they would wake me early every morning with their baaaing.


I was such a lazy arse in college. I used to complain that I had to climb this measly hill up to the dorm. What the hell was wrong with me? That big sign on the outside of the building says College Park Scholars. For some reason I was chosen to be in this program when I applied to Maryland. It's sort of like honours but not as good. Since I was a Scholar, I got to live in this quad of buildings with all the other Scholars which was a little better than the other dorms....but just a little.


The football stadium, where I witnessed many embarrassing loses by the UMD team. I mostly went to the games though to watch Jose play in the marching band, it was by far the best part.


So after a walk down memory lane, Happs, Sea and I went to Georgetown to do a bit of shopping. For dinner it was a massive meal at Tara Thai on the way back to Sea's.


February 4th

The next day, we met up with Shira and Jose for some brunch at The Diner in Adams Morgan- the newly gentrified, ethnic section of DC. I think the last time I was there, I was salsa dancing for the birthday of an ex-friend/enemy, who shall not be named, Freshman year.


Sea aiding Shira in the application of some lip balm after a very nice brunch.


Jose and I reuniting after two years. Hurrah for old friends!


My three gorgeous mates. I think we are all just so proud that we are still friends, thanks mostly to Sea's excellent communication skills. Next up was a quick turn around the National Gallery (is it ironic that an art historian gets bored in museums?).


And then a stop on the Washington Mall to model in front of the Capital Building. We were all suppose to put on our sexy model face, but I think Shira is making her "Imma gonna cut you!" face.



In front of the Washington Monument, or the pointy building as Sea likes to call it. How beautiful are Shira's blue eyes?

After the monument, Jose left for his house in Virginia to get ready the dinner party he had planned for us while we went back to Shira's to watch Project Runway (or Project Catwalk for those in Britain).


Jose's house is fabulous. Big and decorated so loverly. We were a wee bit late to his big gay dinner party, but a bottle of wine made up for it.


Three fantastic enchiladas and 3 large glasses of wine later, we were feeling v. merry indeed. We broke out the Would You Rather game and slurred questions at each other. "Would you rather have sex with a person with no legs or no arms?"



Sunday, Sea, Happs and I met Jose and Shira in the city again for some more brunch (which actually turned into a lunch at California Pizza Kitchen because our brunch places fell through). After lunch, we stopped by Shira's to listen to a faux Madonna song she downloaded and flip through her how-to magazines. At about 3:30, we said our goodbyes, Happs and I drove Sea home and then we hit the road for New York, speeding along so that Happy could catch at least the second half of the Superbowl.

Thanks everyone for a fantastic weekend. It was brilliant and so fun. I promise to show you an equally good time when you come to NYC (soon I hope!).