And so it is

My grandmother used to say "home again, home again, jiggidy, jog" when we neared the house after an outing. And that's where I am now, home again. Back in the bosom of my urban family, Sea and Ryan.

It's 1am and I can't sleep but I'm weary. I didn't want to come home and face everything. So much work, so little money, such horrible sublets. I wanted to hide away in my grandfather's big, empty house. Rattle away in piles of old photos, float endlessly in his suburban pool, silently work my way through his liquor cabinet. But, alas... Well, just alas.

It was so sad being in Texas at my grandfather's house. Some nights, after he would go to sleep, I would stalk quietly through the house crying. It was like wading through a cavern of time where only echos of the past could be heard reverberating in every corner. I'd like to go back there and be, just meld into the couch and be and write and try to discover what it all meant.

The music festival is even harder this year than it's ever been even though we have two years of experience behind us and the best location and best booking team we've ever had. I don't quite know what to do about it all. I want to just keep my head down for now and work work work but Thursday I have to face a room full of worried ATJ members and I don't quite know what to do, how to fix it all if we can't make it work. Every year since the beginning, it has been nothing short of a miracle it has happened at all. Do me a favor, say a few hail Mary's for my this year too.